Showing Gratitude

Next week in addition to preparing my thesis defense, I am going to be writing the acknowledgement section of my thesis. Looking back on this journey, I realized that there are so many people to thank. If I were to include everyone it would be almost as long as the document itself. It has also been cool to look back at things. Every time I look back I tend to do it through rose coloured glasses. There are no longer term experiences (even terrible relationships, trips, or jobs) that don't eventually bring a smile to my face. Even the tough times I went through when losing vision in my right eye, I view them now as challenges that were not just present but integral.  Maybe I am the only one with this disposition, but I doubt it. Anyway, when reflecting on this, one of my friends gave me some advice on how to write my acknowledgements. They said to only thank significant contributing members and to professionally acknowledge personal relationships that are not family.

To me this seems weird. I was thankful for the advice but I respectfully have to disagree (sorry homie - I know we go back and you are going to be done soon, but still). I disagree for a few reasons.

First, no one you actually acknowledge will read your thesis outside of your committee (maybe) - and anyone directly involved in the projects. I read the the acknowledgement sections of only two people (a student that I was mentoring this year), and my old supervisor. I skipped past the acknowledgements and most of the parts of any other thesis I accidentally thought was a paper.

Second, a thesis, just like any long term project, is a single snapshot in a long time line. In this way it is kind of like a old yearbook, scrapbook, or photo. The acknowledgement section represents how you feel and who means a lot to you at the moment. In this way- it is better too just write and thank and show gratitude to those in your heart  in the moment. Those sentimental shout outs may evoke some stomach twists if the people you shout out break your heart, but when you revisit those words of gratitude it will likely serve as an honest reminder of the good times that once were. Don't think too much about it.


Lastly, it is the one part of your thesis where you don't have to be formal so why do it. I would say be true- thank everyone, thanks the cats in marseille (shout out anahid), thank the person reading it, shout out the sidewalks from keeping you off the streets. Be as thankful and as honest as you can- leave the formalities for the oscars and political speeches.

The Meetup

So I head out of my apartment into the hallway. Hmmm, the lights still don't work and half of the hallway to the exit door is under construction. It's got a damp and humid smell, even though it seems to be hot outside. I open up the door, and the sure enough the anticipated hot sun hits me directly on my face. To my surprise, clement was there already, accompanied by his red vespa.

"Hey man, what you sayin?" - Clem
"Nothing much fam, you been waiting long?" - me
"Don't even worry bout that, just grab this helmet and come with me, we gonna hit up the Macrina"- Clem
"Whoooaa this must be some scam you thought of homie... we eating in Bell Town?" - me
"Dawg, just grab the helmet, mans are hungry"- Clem

So we zip down from Fremont to Bell Town for breakfast. It is actually a pretty nice ride. If you're not on the back of a vespa. I think that was peak hipster level, plus hardly anyone in Seattle uses a Vespa so we got a lot of attention.

"We here"- Clem
"Damn, you got a reservation and everything? This must be really important" -me
"Aiight homie, let's eat" - Clem


We both get off the Vespa and walk into the Macrina Bakery. The place looks a lot more live than I remember. The smells of baked goods, bacon, eggs, and bread fill the air. We are greeted by this extremely attractive hostess who escorts us to our seat. After some playful chitchat she leaves us the menu. Little did I know this little get together was gonna turn into one of the most hectic weeks of my life. It all started when Clem asked:

"Man, you remember when you were a kid?"

You play different when you are keeping score.

The last week has been hectic, and I have slipped a little bit, I did keep writing but I found it much easier to reach for my pen and notebook than to write on the blog. However, I still feel like I am cheating on my New Year's resolution so I wanted to get back on it. So this week - I want to get back on it and make time to put the words from the various scraps of paper back onto the web (also this way I can move and refine what I wrote on paper to the big pages).

The first of which was a piece I wrote about keeping score: 

You play differently when you are keeping score. I used to hate this saying because it never offered a direction. You don't necessarily play better when you are keeping score. Usually games are also more fun when you're not. Over the last week of my own writing (aka slacking), I do realize however that not posting my thoughts in a way was not keeping score. My most productive times in any endeavour happened when I had a visual scoreboard. What is even more effective is having a scoreboard focused on meta-skills, like focused on thing I can do everyday or in the moment. As a Ph.D student , a scoreboard tracking the number of publications who get isn't gonna be that effective at keeping you on task- but I scoreboard on how much you wrote everyday will be. Spoiler alert is that my most effective scoreboards were ones focused on the pomodoro method. 


While it was fun to write on papers and when my laptop ran out of battery - it did feel different. So anyways, I am coming back online.